SMISSMUFFET 
CHRISTMAS  PART 

MUEL  M'CHORD  CROTH 


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Miss  Muffet's  Christinas  party 


UNIVERSITY  OF  N.C.  AT  CHAPEL  HILL 


00022085299 


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MISS  MUFFET'S 

CHRISTMAS 

PARTY 

BY 

SAMUEL  McCHORD 
CROTHERS 

ILLUSTRATIONS    BY 
OLIVE  M.  LONG 


H 


i  *    \ 

m 


BOSTON    AND   NEW   YORK 

HOUGHTON  MIFFLIN  COMPANY 
(3tbe  ifttoerjeibe  pre^s  Cambtibjje 


COPYRIGHT,    1902    BY   SAMUEL    McCHORD   CROTKERS 
ALL    RIGHTS    RESERVED 


TEfy  &ibersi&e  $tes& 

CAMBRIDGE  •  MASSACHUSETTS 
PRINTED  IN  THE  U.  S.  A. 


TO  MARGERY 

BECAUSE,   AMONG  OTHER  THEMIS 
WE  LIKE  THE  SAME  PEOPLE 


LIST  OF  ILLUSTRATIONS 


PAQB 

A  visitor  came  (page  4) Frontispiece 

Chapter  Heading       .........  1 

Mrs.  Muffet  had  read  this  in  a  book       .          ....  2 

To  meditate  on  the  passage  of  time      ......  3 

The  kind  of  thing  that  Miss  Muffet  sat  on                .         .         .  4 

Fairly  jumped  off  her  tuffet        .......  6 

Chapter  Heading 8 

They  sat  down  ..........  9 

Every  town  crier  in  England          .        .        .        .         .        .  13 

The  blighted  being 15 

Chapter  Heading   ...*......  18 

Miss  Muffet  closed  her  eyes 19 

She  could  catch  glimpses  of  travelers         .....  20 
Tom  Sawyer  trying  to  "  hitch  on  "  behind    .         .         .         .         .21 

Alice  with  all  the  strange  friends  she  had  found  in  Wonderland  23 

"  This  is  the  main  caravan  road  to  Bagdad  "  .        .         .         .  25 

Elves 28 

The  woods  were  full  of  merry  little  people        ....  29 

An  old  witch  who  ivas  not  nearly  so  bad  as  she  looked .         .         .31 

Chapter  Heading  .........  32 

Introduced  the  Orientals  to  the  North  Country  people  .         .         .33 

Aladdin  explains  the  virtues  of  his  lamp  .....  37 

"  Listening  .  .  .  is  hard  on  the  eyes  "          .....  39 

Chapter  Heading  .........  44 

The  shyest  persons  in  the  room 45 


vi  LIST    OF  ILLUSTRATIONS 

Scampering  off  into  the  dark  .......  47 

Chapter  Heading       .........  54 

"  /  am  sorry  to  be  so  late  ".......  55 

Hal  cut  his  string       .........  63 

"  /  don't  think  I  ever  knew  two  persons  more  different "  .         .  65 

"  You  dear  little  Rosamond  " 67 

Chapter  Heading 69 

One  v>as  beating  the  ofher 71 

A  little  talk  about  dervishry     .......  73 

An  expressive  glance  at  the  executioner        .....  75 

Aladdin's  brother  and  the  Dervish   ......  79 

Chapter  Heading       .........  82 

"  I must  have  the  full  set" 85 

Telling  anecdotes       .........  87 

"  It  all  depends  on  grammar  " 89 

Chapter  Heading       .........  92 

Wynken,  Blynken,  and  Nod 93 

He  was  a  little  prudent 96 

The  Rockaby  Lady  saying  good-night    .....  97 

Flew  aivay  .  .  .  into  the  night   .......  100 

Into  his  overcoat  pocket  ........  101 

Red  Riding-Hood's  Grandmother  began  to  dance        .        .         .  103 

A  long  time  to  get  on  their  overshoes 105 

Closed  her  eyes ..........  106 

Tail  Piece 107 


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'Twas  the  night  before  Christmas,  and  it  was 
very  quiet  in  Mrs.  Muffet's  house,  —  altogether  too 
quiet,  thought  little  Miss  Muffet,  as  she  sat  trying 
to  eat  her  curds  and  whey.  For  Mrs.  Muffet  was 
a  very  severe  mother  and  had  her  own  ideas  about 
bringing  up  children,  —  and  so  had  Mr.  Muffet, 
or  rather  he  had  the  same  ideas,  only  warmed 
over.  One  of  these  was  on  the  necessity  of  care  in 
the  diet  of  growing  children.  "First,"  said  Mrs. 
Muffet,  "  we  must  find  out  what  the  children  don't 
like,  and  then  we  must  make  them  eat  plenty  of  it ; 
next  to  breaking  their  wills,  there  is  nothing  so 
necessary  as  breaking  their  appetites."  Mrs.  Muffet 
had  read  this  in  a  book,  and  so  she  knew  it  must  be 


2 


MISS  MUFFETS  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


true ;  and  Mr.  Muffet  had  heard  Mrs.  Muffet  say 
it  so  many  times  that  he  knew  it 
was  true. 

So  every  morning  little  Miss 
Muffet  had  three  courses :  first, 
curds  and  whey ;  second, 
whey  and  curds ;  third, 
curdled  whey.  She  had 
the  same  things  for  the 
other  meals,  but  the  or- 
der was  changed  about. 
An  experienced  house- 
keeper tells  me  that  the 
third  course  is  impossible 
to  prepare,  as  whey  can- 
not be  curdled.  All  I  have  to  say  is  that  this 
housekeeper  had  not  known  Mrs.  Muffet.  Mrs. 
Muffet  could  curdle  anything.  But  the  worst  days 
of  the  year  for  little  Miss  Muffet  were  the  holidays, 
for  they  were  occasions  that  had  to  be  improved. 
Now  for  a  little  girl  to  improve  an  occasion  is 
about  the  hardest  work  she  can  do,  especially  when 
she  does  n't  know  how.  If  she  had  been  left  to 
herself,  Miss  Muffet  would  n't  have  improved  them 
at  all,  but  would  have  left  them  in  their  natural 
state. 


Mrs.  Muffet  had  read  this  in  a  book 


MISS  MUFFETS  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


"  Christmas,"  said  Mrs.  Muffet 
in  her  most  economical  tone, 
"  comes  but  once  a  year,  so  we 
must  make  it  go  as  far  as  possi- 
ble. The  best  way  for  a  child 
to  do  that  is  to  sit  and  meditate. 
You've  no  idea  how  long  a  hol- 
iday seems  till  you  sit  still  and 
think  about  it.    Count  sixty,  that 


will  be  just  one 
minute,  and  an- 
other, and  an- 
other, and  then 
$ps*  another  —  sixty 
times     one,    and 

To  meditate  on  the  passage  of  time  .  1  •     ,         ■ 

then  sixty  times 
that,    and  then  twenty-four  times   that   makes  — 


MISS  MUFFET  S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


well — it  makes  —  the  exact  number  doesn't  mat* 
ter  much,"  said  Mrs.  Muffet,  who  was  n't  quick 
at  mental  arithmetic,  "  but  you  '11  see  that  there 
are  quite  a   considerable  number   of   seconds   in 

Christmas  Day  - —  quite 
enough  for  any  growing 
child."  So  at  Christmas 
time  Mrs.  Muffet  would  go 
out  to  visit  the  neighbors, 
leaving  the  little  girl  seated 
on  a  very  uncomfortable 
tuffet,  to  meditate  on  the 
passage  of  time. 

Perhaps  some  of  you 
would  like  to  know  what  a 
tuffet  is.  I  have  thought 
of  that  myself,  and  have 
taken  the  trouble  to  ask  sev- 
eral learned  persons.  They 
assure  me  that  the  most  complete  and  satisfactory 
definition  is,  —  a  tuffet  is  the  kind  of  thing  that 
Miss  Muffet  sat  on.  With  this  explanation  I  shall 
go  on  with  my  story.  As  she  sat  on  her  tuffet 
counting  up  the  seconds  of  Christmas  Eve,  and  had 
already  reached  the  sum  of  two  thousand  one  hun- 
dred and  seven,  a  strange  thing  happened.     A  vis* 


The  kind  of  thing  that  Miss 
Muffet  sat  on 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  5 

itor  came  and  sat  down  beside  her.  You  guess 
who  he  was  ?  Yes  —  an  elderly,  benevolent  spi- 
der. He  was  short-sighted  and  wore  green  specta- 
cles, and  had  evidently  a  little  rheumatism  in  his 
legs,  but  as  he  had  eight  of  them,  he  managed  to 
get  along  very  well. 

Now  the  way  you  may  have  heard  the  story  is 
that  when  the  kind  old  spider  sat  down  beside  her, 
it  frightened  Miss  Muffet  away.  That  story  must 
be  true  because  I  myself  have  seen  it  in  print, 
but  it  happened  at  another  time,  when  Miss  Muffet 
was  very  little  indeed. 

On  the  Christmas  Eve  I  am  telling  about,  she 
had  become  a  very  sensible  little  girl,  and  knew  all 
about  spiders,  so  instead  of  running  away,  she 
made  room  for  him  on  the  tuffet  and  said,  "  I  am 
very  glad  to  see  you,  Mr.  Spider."  Mr.  Spider 
bowed  and  looked  at  her  in  a  kindly  way  through 
his  spectacles,  but  said  nothing. 

"  I  hope  your  family  are  all  well ;  I  mean  the 
family  Arachnida,  sub-order,  I  forget  the  name. 
We  've  enjoyed  dissecting  those  we  could  get ;  and 
you  deserve  a  great  deal  of  credit  for  the  curious 
way  in  which  you  are  put  together,  with  your 
funny  thorax  and  everything." 

"  Let 's   change   the   subject,   Miss,"   said   the 


6  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

spider,  moving  toward  the  further  side  of  the  tuffet. 
"  This  is  Christmas  Eve." 

"  Yes/'  answered  Miss  Muffet  wearily.     "  Sixty 


(°5D 


Fairly  jumped  off  her  tuffet 


seconds  make  a  minute  ;  sixty  minutes  make  an 
hour.  Even  Christmas  Eve  will  come  to  an. end 
some  time  ;  but  what 's  the  good  ?  For  then  Christ- 
mas will  come,  and  that  will  never  get  through." 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  7 

"  What  do  you  say  to  a  party  ?  " 

Miss  Muffet  fairly  jumped  off  her  tuffet,  for  she 
had  never  had  a  party  in  her  life.  "  Who  will 
invite  the  people  ?  " 

"  I  will,"  said  the  spider. 

"  But  do  you  think  any  one  will  come  if  you 
invite  them  ?  " 

"Why  not?" 

"  Oh  !  I  was  just  thinking  ;  some  people  are  such 
'fraid-cats  ;  and  then,  you  know,  once,  one  of  your 
family  invited  the  fly  to  walk  into  his  parlor.  I 
don't  believe  the  story  one  bit,  but  then,  you  know, 
Mr.  Spider,  it  caused  talk." 

Mr.  Spider  positively  blushed  green.  "If  you 
have  no  objection,  let 's  change  the  subject  again. 
Business  is  business  ;  as  for  flies,  there  is  a  differ- 
ence of  opinion  about  them,  and  we  can't  all  live  on 
curds  and  whey,  Miss  Muffet.  But  this  is  to  be 
your  party,  and  we  should  not  invite  flies  but  folks. 
How  would  you  like  to  have  a  literary  party,  and 
invite  all  the  people  you  've  read  about  ?  " 

"  How  delightful !  "  cried  Miss  Muffet  gleefully. 
"  What  a  dear  old  spider  you  are  !  " 

"  Let 's  write  the  invitations  immediately,"  said 
Mr.  Spider,  taking  out  of  his  pocket  a  ream  of  the 
most  delicate  cobweb  paper. 


They  sat  down  with  their  heads  very  close  to- 
gether, and  such  a  number  of  letters  you  never 
saw  as  Miss  Muffet  and  the  spider  wrote.  Some 
of  them  were  very  informal,  like  those  beginning 
"  Dear  Little  Bo-Peep  "  and  "  Dear  Red  Riding- 
Hood."  They  said,  "  Won't  you  come  to  a  party 
at  my  house  ?  We  're  going  to  have  games." 
Others  were  very  formal  like  that  addressed  to 

The  Reverend  Swiss  Robinson  and  Family, 
Tent  House, 

Desert  Island,   . 

stating  that  "  Miss  Muffet  requests  the  pleasure  of 
your   company,"   etc.      Then  there   were   letters 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  9 

addressed  to  Wonderland  and  Back  of  the  North 
Wind,  and  to  Lilliput  and  the  Land  where  the  Jum- 
blies  Live,  and  to  all  sorts  of  places  which  are  to 
be  found  only  on  the  best  maps,  and  are  not  in  the 
school  geographies  at  all. 

Mr.  Spider  was  very  careful  and  businesslike, 
and  insisted  that  Miss  Mullet  should  always  put 
down  the  exact  address,  for  it  would  never  do  to 
have  any  of  the  letters  go  to  the  dead-letter  office. 


"tfo&D 


They  sat  down 


Sometimes,  however,  they  were  puzzled  to  find  the 
right  direction. 

"  Shall  I  address  this  letter  to  Norwich  or  the 
Moon?"  asked  Miss  Muffet,  handing  him  an 
envelope. 


10  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

"  Ah  !  "  said  the  spider,  "  this  is  a  difficult  case ; 
it 's  hard  to  reach  these  traveling  men.  Here  is 
a  gentleman  residing  in  the  Moon,  who  suddenly 
sets  out  for  Norwich  without  leaving  his  address. 
Better  direct  the  letter  to  '  Norwich,  General  Deliv- 
ery,' and  write  in  the  upper  left  hand  corner,  '  If 
not  called  for  in  five  minutes,  forward  to  the  Moon.' ': 

"  And  I  suppose  that  Gloucester  is  Dr.  Foster's 
address  ?     That  is  where  I  last  heard  of  him." 

"  No ;  I  'm  afraid  we  shall  have  to  give  the 
doctor  up.  He  is  a  very  peculiar  man  and  took  a 
prejudice  against  the  town,  and  vowed  he  would 
never  go  that  way  again." 

"Oh,  yes,  I  remember,"  said  Miss  Muffet;  "it 
was  because  he  did  n't  like  the  way  they  kept  the 
roads." 

It  was  a  difficult  matter  to  get  the  correct  titles 
for  all  the  princes  and  princesses  of  Fairyland,  and 
to  learn  the  names  of  all  the  crowned  heads.  Of 
course,  where  their  names  were  in  the  Court  Direc- 
tory it  was  easy  enough,  for  the  spider  had  a  huge 
volume  at  his  elbow ;  but  he  said  that  it  was  far 
from  complete.  All  the  giant-killers  and  the  young 
men  who  married  the  kings'  daughters  were  in  it, 
but  the  kings  themselves  were  often  forgotten, 

•  '  A  certain  king  had  three  daughters,'  "  said 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  11 

Miss  Muff et ;  "  that 's  all  that  I  know  about  him, 
but  he  ought  to  be  invited.  The  postman  will 
want  to  know  which  '  Certain  King '  it  is,  and  what 
he 's  king  of." 

"  The  best  way  to  do,"  said  the  spider,  "  would 
be  to  address  a  hundred  letters,  each  to  i  A  Certain 
King,'  asking  His  Majesty  to  honor  your  party  with 
his  presence,  and  to  bring  with  him  a  i  Certain 
Queen.'  Then  whenever  the  messenger  comes  across 
a  king  without  any  particular  name  he  can  give  him 
an  invitation.  If  you  want  to  be  more  definite,  you 
may  address  each  letter  to  ( A  Certain  Kingdom.' " 

"  But  he  has  usually  given  away  half  of  his 
kingdom." 

"  That 's  true,"  said  the  spider  ;  "  you  had  better 
address  it  to  'The  Other  Half.'  " 

Miss  Muffet  was  troubled  about  the  persons  who 
had  only  lately  risen  in  life. 

"  There  is  Dumbling,  who  went  out  to  chop  wood, 
and  the  dwarf  gave  him  a  golden  goose  that  made 
everything  stick  to  it.  The  king's  daughter  in 
that  certain  kingdom  had  been  so  serious  that  the 
king  had  offered  her  to  any  one  who  would  make 
her  laugh  ;  and  when  she  saw  Dumbling  with  the 
goose  under  his  arm  and  the  maids  and  the  parson 
and  all  the  rest  following  after,  she  laughed  out- 


12  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

right.  She  did  n't  mean  to,  but  she  could  n't  help 
it.  And  now  Dumbling  is  a  prince,  and  is  living 
happily  ever  afterward.  I  wonder  if  that  makes 
any  difference  in  his  feelings,  or  if  he  likes  to  be 
called  Dumbling." 

The  spider  said  that  it  all  depended  on  his  wife. 
With  such  a  serious  person  as  she  had  been  one 
must  be  careful  about  etiquette.  Because  she  had 
laughed  once  was  no  sign  that  she  would  do  it 
again. 

"  Shall  you  invite  any  plain  boys  and  girls  who 
live  in  the  Every  Day  Country  ? "  asked  the 
spider. 

This  was  a  hard  question,  for  the  Muffets  were 
an  old  family  who  had  come  across  with  Mother 
Goose,  and  at  this  moment  Every  Day  Country 
seemed  a  long  way  off  and  just  a  bit  uninteresting. 
But  then  Miss  Muffet  remembered  how  many  kind 
friends  she  had  found  there,  and  answered,  — 

"  Oh,  certainly,  we  must  send  invitations  to  the 
Every  Day  Country,  for  some  of  the  folks  there 
are  just  as  good  as  the  Dreamland  people,  only  of 
course  they  have  n't  had  the  same  advantages." 

So  letters  were  sent  to  Prudy  and  Dotty  Dimple 
and  the  Bodley  Family,  and  to  the  Little  Men  and 
Little  Women  and  Lord  Fauntleroy  and  the  rest. 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


n 


A  special  letter  was  written  to  the  little  Ruggleses, 
and  to  Tiny  Tim  and  all  the  Cratchetts,  for  Miss 
Muffet  knew  that  they  were  always  ready  to  have 


Every  town  crier  in  England 


a  good  time  on  Christmas.  A  message  was  sent  to 
every  town  crier  in  England,  asking  him  to  make 
immediate  proclamation  in  the  streets  that  if  any 
small  boy  who  was  a  Prince  and  a  Pauper  would 
make  himself  known,  he  would   hear  something 


14  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

greatly  to  his  advantage,  for  he  was  invited  to  Miss 
Muffet's  Party. 

The  longest  letter  was  that  sent  to  Agamemnon 
Peterkin.  Miss  Muffet  wrote  it  very  carefully, 
underscoring  all  the  important  parts,  and  adding 
a  map  showing  the  way  from  the  Peterkins'  house 
to  the  palace.  She  asked  him  to  bring  all  the 
family,  including  the  little  boys. 

"I  don't  see  how  he  can  make  a  mistake,"  she 
said,  "  but  he  probably  will.  They  are  all  so  in- 
genious. They  find  out  how  to  make  mistakes 
that  other  folks  would  never  think  of." 

"What  about  Mr.  Henty's  boys?"  said  the 
spider ;  "  there  are  so  many  of  them." 

"  There  seem  to  be  a  great  many  of  them,"  said 
Miss  Muffet,  "  but  I  've  sometimes  thought  that 
there  may  be  only  two,  only  they  live  in  differ- 
ent centuries  and  go  to  different  wars.  Boys  can 
do  that,  can't  they,  Mr.  Spider,  if  they  are  very 
brave?" 

The  spider  said  he  thought  they  could  without 
changing  their  characters,  but  of  course  they  would 
have  to  change  their  names. 

So  an  invitation  was  sent  to  Ronald  Leslie, 
alias  Wulf,  Roger,  Lionel,  Stanley,  etc.,  On  The 
Firing  Line,  Near  Carthage,  Quebec,  Crecy,  Water- 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


15 


loo,  Khartoum,  or  wherever   the  Enemy  may  be 
found   in  force. 
Forward    by     a 
swift  messenger, 
trusty  and  true. 

"I  shouldn't 
wonder  if  they 
might  be  a  little 
late,  for  they  may 
be  taken  pris- 
oner, and  it  al- 
ways takes  them 
some  time  to  es- 
cape." 

"  Shall  you  in- 
vite any  bad 
boys  ?  "  asked 
the  spider. 

"  No,"  an- 
swered Miss 
Muffet  severely, 
"  not  as  a  rule ;  j 
but  I  think  we  | 
shall  ask  Mr. 
Aldrich's  Bad  Boy,  for  he  is  a  blighted  being.  I 
think  it's  our  duty  to  have  him,  —  and  then  it 


C>he  blighted 
being-  ♦■^'h? 


16  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

would  be  such  fun.  And  I  suppose  we  ought  to 
invite  Huckleberry  Finn  and  Tom  Sawyer  to  keep 
him  company." 

"  Of  course  you  will  invite  all  the  good  boys  ?  " 

"  Of  course  we  shall  invite  them,  as  a  rule.  But 
the  good  boys  in  the  books  are  almost  too  good 
sometimes ;  don't  you  think  so,  Mr.  Spider  ?  I 
mean  almost  too  good  to  be  true.  But  that  re- 
minds me  ;  I  suppose  we  should  invite  Rollo?  " 

"  Yes,"  said  the  spider,  "  we  certainly  must  invite 
Rollo ;  he  's  a  worthy  lad,  and  of  an  inquiring 
mind." 

"  Oh  dear  !  "  said  Miss  Muffet,  tearing  up  the 
letter  she  had  just  written,  "  he  's  so  intelligent. 
I  '11  have  to  write  very  correctly  or  he  '11  criticise 
the  spelling;  and  then  if  I  invite  Rollo,  I  shall 
have  to  invite  Jonas,  too." 

"  Certainly,"  said  the  spider,  "  we  must  invite 
Jonas,  and  we  must  arrange  some  moral  amuse- 
ment. Suppose  in  your  invitation  you  leave  out 
the  word  '  party  '  and  ask  him  to  attend  a  '  serious 
symposium.'  How  would  this  do  ?  —  '  Respected 
Sir,  You  are  earnestly  requested  to  attend  a  serious 
symposium  at  Miss  Muffet's,  to  meet  the  Rev.  Swiss 
Robinson  and  other  persons  interested  in  the  edu- 
cation  of  youth.      The  Little    Old  Woman   who 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  17 

lived  in  a  Shoe  will  preside.  There  will  be  a 
number  of  papers,  to  be  followed  by  a  discussion.'  " 

"  How  good  that  is  !  Jonas  would  so  love  a  dis< 
cussion,"  said  Miss  Muffet. 

"  Shall  we  invite  any  giants  ?  " 

"  No ;  I  don't  want  to  be  exclusive,  but  we 
must  draw  the  line  somewhere.  Let 's  draw  it  at 
giants." 

"  Very  well,"  said  the  spider,  throwing  into  the 
waste-basket  the  letter  he  had  just  addressed  to 
His  Majesty  the  King  of  the  Brobdingnags. 

At  last  the  invitations  were  all  written,  and  the 
kind  old  spider  said,  "  Now  lie  down,  my  dear,  on 
the  tuffet  and  close  your  eyes,  and  I  will  make  all 
the  preparations  and  wake  you  in  time  for  the 
party." 


Miss  Muffet  closed  her  eyes,  and  had  already 
begun  to  dream  of  curds  and  whey,  when  all  at 
once  she  was  awakened  and  found  herself  in  a  most 
wonderful  palace.  The  walls  and  floors  were  made 
of  the  sheerest,  filmiest  spider's-web,  woven  into  a 
thousand  delicate  patterns.  A  soft  light  "shone 
through  the  tapestries,  and  the  dewdrops  on  the 
roof  sparkled  like  diamonds.      The  music  that 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  19 

floated  in  through  the  open  windows  was  not  so 
much  a  sound  as  a  part  of  the  atmosphere.  She 
was  not  sure  whether  she  heard  it  or  only  breathed 
it  in.  Everything  was  so  shimmering  and  so 
dainty  that  Miss  Muffet  might  have  thought  that 
she  was  dreaming  had  it  not  been  for  the  spider, 
who  looked  so  comical  in  his  dress-suit  that  she 
laughed  outright.  The  moment  she  laughed,  Miss 
Muffet  knew  that  everything  was  real. 

For  a  minute  she  did  not  dare  to  trust  herself 
on  the  floor,  but  when  she  took  a  step  she  had  the 
most  delightful  experience  of  walking  on  air.  She 
went  to  one  of  the  great  windows.    If  the  palace 


Miss  Muffet  closed  her  eyes 


had  been  wonderful,  how  much  more  wonderful 
was  the  view  from  it.  Far  as  the  eye  could  reach 
were  the  shining  paths  of  spider's-web,  each  one 


20 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


leading  over  hill  and  dale  to  the  palace  door.    Now 
the  paths  were  on  the  ground,  now  with  bridges 


She  could  catch  glimpses  of  travelers 


from  grass  blade  to  grass  blade,  sometimes  from 
tree  to  tree  ;  and  far  off  she  could  see  them  span- 
ning deep  valleys  among  the  hills.  By  and  by 
she  could  catch  glimpses  of  travelers  on  the  road, 


/ 


SLV  (  v\ yv  f 


/? 


Tom  Sawyer  trying  to  "  hitch  on  "  behind 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


23 


some  in  coaches,  some  on  foot,  some  on  horseback, 
coming  by  twos  and  dozens  and  scores. 

"  They  're  coming  to  the  party,"  said  the  spider. 

Sure  enough,  there  was  Cinderella  in  her  coach 


Alice  with  all  the  strange  friends  she  had  found  in  Wonderland 

with  the  Prince  sitting  by  her  side,  and  Tom  Saw- 
yer trying  to  "  hitch  on  "  behind.  And  there  was 
Alice  with  all  the  strange  friends  she  had  found  in 
Wonderland  ;  and  a  very  queer  set  they  were,  for 
Wonderland  is  rather  out  of  the  world,  and  the 
fashions  of  the  Wonderlanders  were  peculiar,  and 


24  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

not  at  all  like  anything  Miss  Muffet  had  ever 
seen  before.  And  then  how  they  did  act !  It  was  a 
great  relief  to  see,  after  the  March  Hare  and  the 
Cheshire  Cat  and  the  Duchess,  who  were  skipping 
along  in  the  most  extraordinary  manner,  Mr.  Robin- 
son Crusoe.  "  He  looks  so  solid  and  respectable," 
said  Miss  Muffet,  "  and  so  English,  you  know." 

"  Come  to  the  east  window,"  said  the  spider. 

Miss  Muffet  went  with  him  and  looked  out  on 
a  great  level  road  stretching  toward  the  sunrise. 
Just  where  it  seemed  to  touch  the  sky  she  could 
see  a  grove  of  palm-trees,  and  she  thought  she 
could  see,  beyond,  the  golden  domes  and  minarets 
of  a  city.  But  she  was  not  quite  sure  of  this,  for 
it  might  have  been  the  clouds.  A  faint  perfume  as 
of  rare  spices  floated  to  her  as  the  wind  sprang  up. 

"  This,"  said  the  spider,  "  is  the  main  caravan 
road  to  Bagdad."  A  golden  dust  seemed  to  rise 
in  the  distance  among  the  palms.  At  last  Miss 
Muffet  could  see  a  caravan. 

"  Take  this  glass,"  said  the  spider,  handing  her 
an  opera-glass.  Then  Miss  Muffet  could  see  very 
well.  There  were  the  Sultan  and  the  Caliph  and 
the  Grand  Vizier,  and  the  silk  merchants  and  the 
calenders,  and  the  princesses  of  every  degree,  —  all 
on  camels  most  wonderful  to  behold. 


V, 


\.%    J  #1/       ,     Ik 

#P1!  .if  ''    |a    '  '  i 

,   ■  i  aw- "  '"'■Ii>'  i         !                M1BIBCT 

■   if  •'-■'' fk  5tf§ 


III 

■MB 

lill 


liiiitmftr/IVriuiiij, 


to-*!-/';-  •  -  «£>v- ■'•■  7w  I,  wv '.&$F*'r-  "' 


"  2%is  is  the  main  caravan  road  to  Bagdad  " 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  27 

"  Do  you  see  the  Forty  Thieves  ? "  asked  the 
spider  uneasily.  "  If  you  do,  we  'd  better  count 
the  spoons." 

Then  Miss  Muffet  went  to  the  north  window, 
and  such  a  sight  as  she  saw  there !  There  was 
frost  on  all  the  roads,  and  snow  on  the  far  moun- 
tains, and  the  great  pine  forest  on  that  side  came 
almost  to  the  palace  doors.  And  such  pine-trees 
as  they  were !  Each  one  looked  like  a  great 
Christmas  tree.  The  woods  were  full  of  merry 
little  people,  with  such  frosty  twinkles  in  their 
eyes  that  it  did  one  good  to  look  at  them.  They 
talked  Swedish  and  German  and  Icelandic  and 
all  sorts  of  queer  languages,  but  somehow  they 
laughed  so  naturally,  and  were  so  simple  and 
hearty,  that  Miss  Muffet  understood  every  word. 
There  were  hosts  of  brownies  and  elves  and 
fairies,  and  intelligent  white  bears,  and  one  or  two 
reformed  wolves,  and  an  old  witch  who  was  not 
nearly  so  bad  as  she  looked,  and  the  Marsh  King 
and  his  daughters,  and  an  old  gentleman  who 
looked  so  much  like  Santa  Claus  that  Miss  Muffet 
was  sure  that  he  must  be  his  brother.  Indeed,  she 
could  not  help  noticing  that  a  great  many  of  these 
North  Country  folks  bore  a  strong  family  resem- 
blance to  Santa  Claus,  —  but  perhaps  it  was  only 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


the  way  they  wore 
their  beards. 

When  she  saw 
them  all,  she  was 
sorry  that  she 
had  not  invited 
Santa  Claus  him- 
self. She  had  n't 
asked  him,  be- 
cause, as  she  told  Mr.  Spider,  it  was  Christmas  Eve, 
and  it  might  seem  suggestive.  But  the  truth  of  the 
matter  was,  as  I  suspect,  that  she  thought  he -would 
probably  drop  in  of  his  own  accord,  some  time  in  the 
course  of  the  evening. 


■*-}i£l£&£^  v 


Olive    H    Lon 


"M 


Z%e  woods  were  full  of  merry  little  people 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


31 


As  the  brisk  little  people  from  the  North  came 
up  the  palace  steps,  Miss  Mullet  was  sure  that 
Hans  Christian  Andersen  must  have  had  a  party 
once,  or  how  could  he  have  described  them  so 
well  ?     "  Indeed,"  she   said,  "  if  I   did  n't  know 


An  old  witch  who  was  not  nearly  so  bad  as  she  looked 


what  day  of  the  month  and  what  year  it  is,  I 
should  almost  think  that  this  is  (  Once  upon  a 
Time.'  " 


When  the  guests  began  to  come  in,  Miss  Mullet 
was  all  in  a  flurry  for  fear  she  should  not  do  her 
duty  as  a  hostess  ;  but  she  need  n't  have  worried  a 
bit,  for  they  were  so  much  interested  in  themselves 
that  they  paid  very  little  attention  to  her.  Then 
she  had  the  assistance  of  two  widely  traveled 
storks,  who,  having  their  summer  residences  in 
Norway  and  spending  their  winters  in  Bagdad,  had 
a  great  number  of  acquaintances,  and  introduced 
the  Orientals  to  the  North  Country  people.    It  was 


■  **~    .'ilia  /' 


HP?  vj  irwi 


i-»*«*   t*»*X 


!    I 


Olive  n  JUong- 


Introduced  the  Orientals  to  the  North  Country  people 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  35 

delightful  to  see  how  quickly  they  all  became 
acquainted.  Little  Dutch  Gretchen  in  her  wooden 
shoes  was  not  at  all  like  the  Persian  Princess  whom 
she  now  met  for  the  first  time,  but  they  were  soon 
warm  friends  though  they  had  moved  in  such 
different  society.  At  first  Miss  Muffet  was  afraid 
that  the  wooden  shoes  might  spoil  the  spider's-web 
floor ;  but  there  was  no  real  danger  of  this,  for  the 
spider,  knowing  that  there  would  be  a  very  great 
crowd,  had  made  everything  very  strong. 

There  was  a  little  man  in  a  huge  bearskin  coat 
who  came  from  Back  of  the  North  Wind.  At 
first  he  was  shy  and  awkward,  but  it  was  beau- 
tiful to  see  how  soon  he  was  put  at  ease  when 
Aladdin  came  up  and  explained  to  him  the  virtues 
of  his  wonderful  lamp.  The  little  man  said  that 
such  a  lamp  must  be  very  useful,  but  when  it 
came  to  illuminating  power  it  was  nothing  to  what 
he  had  at  home,  for  he  had  an  Aurora  Borealis 
in  every  room.  Then  the  little  man  chuckled  to 
himself,  for  he  wanted  every  one  to  know  that 
the  Back  of  the  North  Wind  Country  was  not  so 
uncivilized  as  people  supposed. 

In  a  corner  she  found  a  delightful  group  of 
seafaring  folks.  Dr.  Lemuel  Gulliver  was  telling 
the  story  of  one  of  his  voyages.     He  was  such  a 


36  MISS  MUFFET' S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

matter-of-fact  person,  and  so  accurate  about  the 
latitude  and  longitude,  that  Miss  Muffet  had  the 
greatest  confidence  in  him,  and  felt  that,  though 
he  might  be  mistaken  in  regard  to  the  main  points, 
all  the  details  happened  exactly  as  he  said.  His 
story  reminded  Sindbad  the  Sailor  of  something 
that  had  happened  to  him.  He  told  his  story  in 
a  charming  oriental  way,  but  without  a  touch  of 
exaggeration. 

"  That  would  have  spoiled  it,"  said  Miss  Muffet 
to  Baron  Munchausen,  who  was  standing  by. 
"  Don't  you  like  simplicity,  Baron  ?  " 

The  Baron  bowed  in  a  courtly,  old-fashioned 
way,  and  said  that  he  was  inordinately  fond  of  it. 
Miss  Muffet  heard  a  rippling,  liquid  sound  which 
she  at  first  mistook  for  laughter,  but  the  Baron 
assured  her  that  it  was  only  the  frozen  truth  be- 
ginning to  thaw.  This  reminded  him  of  a  little 
incident  which  was  wonderful  to  hear.  Every- 
body was  astonished  except  the  Three  Wise  Men 
of  Gotham.  They  remarked  that  if  they  were  at 
liberty  to  tell  their  adventures,  as  seafaring  men, 
the  stories  that  had  been  told  would  seem  quite 
tame ;  but  they  did  n't  feel  at  liberty,  and  only 
looked  at  each  other  so  wisely  that  Miss  Muffet 
wondered  whether  any  persons  could  really  be  as 
wise  as  they  looked. 


\f'  *     ••••-■  /^», 
Aladdin  explains  the  virtues  of  his  lamp 


Y^Sssfm 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


39 


A  sturdy,  round-faced  man  stood  just  behind 
the  group,  but  took  no  part  in  the  conversation. 
Whenever  Sindbad  was  talking  he  became  so  ex- 
cited that  his  eyes 
seemed  almost  to 
pop  out  of  his 
head,  but  he  qui- 
eted down  as  soon 
as  any  one  else 
began.  After  a 
time  Sindbad 
came  over  to  him, 
and  taking  out 
his  purse,  gave 
him  a  handful  of 
gold  pieces. 

"A  hundred 
sequins?"  asked 
Miss  Muffet. 

"  Yes,"  said  the  round-faced  man,  "  that 's  my 
regular  wages." 

"  It  must  be  a  very  large  amount." 

He  said  he  had  no  complaint  to  make,  though  a 
sequin  did  n't  go  so  far  in  Bagdad  as  it  once  did, 
and  he  had  to  spend  a  great  deal  in  clothes. 

"  I  knew  the  minute  I  saw  you  that  you  must  be 
Hindbad  the  Porter." 


!  Listening 


.cm 

is  hard  on  the  eyes  " 


40  MISS  MUFFET' S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

"  I  used  to  be  a  porter  before  I  became  a  pro- 
fessional listener.  Listening  is  n't  so  hard  on  the 
back  as  portering,  but  it  requires  more  attention 
and  the  hours  are  longer ;  that  is,  they  seem  longer. 
Besides,  it 's  hard  on  the  eyes." 

"  You  mean  on  the  ears/'  suggested  Miss  Muffet. 

"  No !  on  the  eyes ;  you  have  to  look  inter- 
ested." 

"  Oh !  I  understand,"  said  Miss  Muffet.  "  When 
first  I  heard  about  your  being  invited  to  dinner  at 
Sindbad's  and  listening  to  his  first  tale,  it  seemed 
the  very  nicest  thing  in  the  world.  And  how  un- 
expected it  was,  after  you  had  enjoyed  it,  for  him 
to  hand  you  a  hundred  sequins  and  say,  '  Take 
this,  Hindbad,  and  return  to  your  home,  and  come 
back  to-morrow  and  hear  more  of  my  adventures.' 
Were  n't  you  surprised  to  hear  a  story  and  get  a 
hundred  sequins  besides  ?  " 

Hindbad  said  that  he  was  surprised  at  first,  but 
after  a  day  or  two  he  began  to  look  at  it  more  in 
a  business  way.  He  had  always  made  it  a  rule  to 
be  thorough,  for  whatever  was  worth  doing  was 
worth  doing  well,  and  he  determined  to  be  the 
very  best  listener  in  Bagdad. 

"  You  see,  in  my  country,  we  have  a  great  many 
gentlemen  who  gain  wealth  by  having  adventures. 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  41 

When  they  come  back  from  their  shipwrecks,  they 
naturally  want  to  tell  about  them ;  but  there 's  so 
much  competition  that  it 's  hard  to  get  a  hearing. 
When  they  meet  with  people,  like  those  horrid 
Wise  Men  of  Gotham,  who  prefer  their  own  ship- 
wrecks, they  go  into  a  decline." 

His  eyes  filled  with  tears,  and  Miss  Muffet  was 
sure  that  he  was  one  of  the  most  sympathetic  men 
in  the  world. 

"  Now  I  had  a  great  advantage,"  he  went  on  ; 
"  I  never  had  a  shipwreck  of  my  own,  so  that  I 
could  not  be  reminded  of  something  that  would 
make  me  interrupt.  And  then  it  is  easy  for  me 
to  have  a  story  seem  strange.  I  seem  to  have  a 
natural  gift  for  it.  Any  one  can  be  surprised  the 
first  time  he  hears  an  adventure,  but  if  one  is  to 
become  a  professional  listener  he  must  cultivate  the 
habit  of  being  surprised.  Now  that  story  about 
the  roc's  egg  grows  upon  me  ;  indeed  it  does  !  I 
don't  think  I  appreciated  it  at  first.  That 's  the 
way  with  all  big  things ;  it 's  some  time  before  you 
take  them  in.  Even  Mr.  Sindbad  says  that  it 
did  n't  seem  as  big  when  he  saw  it  as  it  does  now 
when  he  remembers  it.  And  whenever  I  hear 
about  those  huge  serpents  it  makes  me  shudder,  and 
I  ask  Mr.  Sindbad  to  hurry  on  and  tell  me  that 


42  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

he  really  did  get  away  from  them.  I  can't  stand 
the  suspense.  The  cannibals  are  frightful  crea- 
tures, Miss  Muffet ;  they  say  they  eat  people.  Mr. 
Sindbad  has  a  perfect  genius  for  having  acci- 
dents. They  come  in  the  most  unexpected  placeso 
And  then  he  escapes.  I  sometimes  think  that  is 
the  most  wonderful  part  of  it." 

"  Do  you  think  a  little  girl  who  studied  hard 
could  learn  your  profession  and  practice  in  Bag^ 
dad  ?  "  asked  Miss  Muffet  timidly.  "  You  know  I 
would  n't  ask  for  wages ;  I  would  do  it  just  for  the 
love  of  it." 

Hindbad  frowned  darkly.  "  It  would  never  do, 
Miss  Muffet !  T  can't  have  little  girls  coming  over 
on  the  banks  of  the  Tigris  and  taking  the  bread 
out  of  the  mouths  of  my  family." 

But  when  he  saw  that  Miss  Muffet  was  beginning 
to  cry,  he  changed  his  tone  and  said,  "  I  am  sure 
you  meant  no  harm,  only  you  did  n't  understand 
about  the  wages.  You  could  easily  earn  a  hundred 
sequins  at  listening,  and  it  is  n't  so  hard  to  learn 
when  you  are  young.  I  would  give  that  much 
myself  to  have  you  listen  to  a  queer  thing  that 
happened  to  me  once  in  Bagdad.  I  've  never  tcld 
it  before,  for  I  never  found  any  one  who  looked 
interested.     It  was  in  one  of  the  narrowest  streets 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  43 

down  by  the  water-side,  and  it  was  on  the  darkest 
night  of  the  year,  when  "  — 

Just  then  the  spider  came  to  take  Miss  Mullet 
away  to  meet  some  children  who  came  from  The 
Golden  Age.  Their  names  were  Harold  and  Ed- 
ward and  Charlotte,  and  they  said  they  had  an 
Aunt  Maria,  who  had  stayed  at  home  because  she 
had  not  been  invited  to  the  party.  They  had 
walked  all  the  way  along  the  Roman  Road,  which 
made  the  spider  think  that  they  must  be  tired.  In 
this  he  was  mistaken  ;  though  they  said  that  they 
were  ready  for  the  refreshments. 


p>f£%B° 


The  Golden  Age  children  said  that  they  didn't 
like  to  play  with  grown  folks ;  after  people  got  to 
be  thirty  or  ninety  they  thought  they  became  very 
uninteresting,  and  did  n't  have  the  right  kind  of 
feelings ;  unless  they  were  Princes  and  went  on 
adventures. 

Miss  Muffet  did  n't  agree  with  this  because  some 
of  her  best  friends  were  elderly  peasants  whose 
faces  were  all  puckered  up  because  they  had  been 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


45 


,  .■  ■,-.■■,-    :■■  4; 

;    -:y  '-) 

-    "      •■■'•■»  :v»«f'>ii 

<  -'=  .»,'  ■■;-.  •■••■ 


The  shyest  persons  in  the  room 

smiling  for  so  many  years.     She  wished,  though, 
that  they  were  not  so  shy. 

"  I  suppose  it 's  because  they  are  not  used  to 
going  to  parties ;  neither  am  I,  for  that  matter,  but 
then  I  'm  not  so  much  used  as  they  are  to  not  going." 


46  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

Perhaps  the  shyest  persons  in  the  room  were  an 
old  German  shoemaker  and  his  wife,  whom  Miss 
Muffet  had  for  a  long  time  loved  and  admired, 
though  they  had  not  known  it.  Indeed,  they  did  n't 
know  that  any  one  was  ever  admired  unless  he  had 
found  a  pot  of  gold  or  done  something  equally  praise- 
worthy. The  shoemaker  had  never  done  anything 
but  make  shoes,  and  his  wife  did  the  cooking 
and  made  the  clothes  for  the  family.  When 
they  received  the  invitation  to  the  party,  they  were 
greatly  astonished  and  thought  it  must  be  a  mis- 
take, but  the  village  priest,  who  read  the  letter, 
told  them  that  it  was  certainly  intended  for  them, 
though  why  they  were  invited  was  a  mystery. 
When  the  priest  told  them  that  it  was  a  mystery, 
they  knew  that  it  was  so,  and  came  along  bowing 
and  curtsying  as  if  all  the  persons  they  met  were 
their  betters,  though  really  only  one  or  two  were 
half  so  good.  Miss  Muffet  ran  to  them  and  put  her 
hands  in  theirs. 

"  I  have  just  loved  you  since  the  time  I  heard 
what  you  did  for  the  little  elves  who  used  to  come 
at  night  after  you  had  gone  to  bed  and  finish  your 
work  for  you.  Some  people  take  what's  done  for 
them  and  think  no  more  about  it  except  that  they  're 
lucky;  but  you  sat  up  till  midnight  and  peeped 


Jill 


Scampering  off  into  the  dark 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  49 

into  the  room  where  the  elves  were  working,  and 
saw  that  they  did  n't  have  enough  clothes  to  keep 
them  warm.  Then  you  made  each  one  a  shirt  and 
a  coat  and  waistcoat  and  a  pair  of  trousers  and 
a  little  pair  of  shoes.  What  fun  it  must  have  been, 
next  night,  to  watch  them  putting  on  their  things 
and  scampering  off  into  the  dark.  I  never  heard  of 
elves  being  dressed  up  like  that." 

The  shoemaker  and  his  wife  laughed  heartily  as 
they  remembered  how  funny  the  elves  were.  The 
wife  confessed  that  the  garments  did  n't  fit  closely, 
though  she  made  them  like  her  husband's,  only 
smaller. 

"Elves  are  not  so  square,  are  they?"  asked 
Miss  Muffet. 

"  No,"  said  the  shoemaker's  wife ;  "  but  their 
clothes  are.     That 's  the  only  pattern  I  have." 

"I  suppose  they  are  coming  to  the  party?  I 
sent  a  general  invitation  to  Elf-land.  There  is  to 
be  elfin  music  and  a  frolic  for  them.  I  thought 
they  might  like  it  better  to  have  their  own  games. 
Your  elves  can't  say  they  have  nothing  to  wear, 
because  that  would  n't  be  true." 

But  though  she  looked  everywhere  for  them,  no- 
where could  she  see  the  little  elves  in  square  coats 
and  trousers.    When  the  refreshments  were  served, 


§0  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

Mr.  Spider  noticed  that  everything  went  remark- 
ably smoothly,  and  there  was  more  of  all  kinds  of 
provisions  than  he  had  ordered.  He  said  he  had 
no  doubt  but  that  the  little  elves  were  helping  in 
the  kitchen. 

"  It  would  be  just  like  them ;  the  little  dears !  " 
said  Miss  Muffet. 

The  shoemaker  felt  very  much  more  at  home 
when  he  met  a  young  fellow  named  Hans  who  had 
come  from  the  same  village.  He  was  not  the  Hans 
who  married  Grettel,  but  the  one  whom  Miss  Muf- 
fet had  often  heard  of  because  he  traded  a  horse 
for  a  cow,  the  cow  for  a  pig,  the  pig  for  a  goose, 
and  so  on,  all  the  way  home.  This  caused  a  good 
deal  of  talk  in  the  neighborhood,  and  some  of  the 
villagers  thought  he  wasn't  much  of  a  business 
man. 

Hans,  however,  was  perfectly  satisfied  with  him- 
self, and  was  quite  ready  to  talk. 

"  The  secret  of  being  a  trader,"  he  said,  "  is  to 
be  quick  about  it.  You  must  not  stop  to  think: 
that 's  where  you  lose  time.  If  I  had  stopped  to 
think,  I  should  have  brought  the  horse  home  with 
me,  and  I  might  have  had  it  on  my  hands  yet. 
There  are  ever  so  many  people  grumbling  about 
the  care  of  their  property  j  they  say  it  is  a  burden 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  51 

to  them.  I  tell  them  that  it 's  all  their  own  fault. 
If  they  kept  their  eyes  open,  they  would  find  plenty 
of  ways  of  getting  rid  of  it." 

Hans  had  such  a  shrewd  twinkle  in  his  eyes  that 
Miss  Mullet  felt  sure  that  he  would  always  get  the 
best  of  a  bargain,  no  matter  how  it  turned  out. 

While  Hans  was  talking,  she  noticed  a  little  man 
who  looked  like  a  tailor. 

"  Did  n't  you  start  on  a  journey  once,"  she  asked, 
"  with  only  a  piece  of  cheese  and  an  old  hen  in 
your  wallet  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  he  answered ;  "  but  that  was  a  good 
while  ago." 

"  I  thought  you  must  be  the  one.  And  you 
fooled  the  giant,  and  when  he  squeezed  a  stone  till 
water  came  out  of  it,  you  squeezed  your  cheese  till 
the  whey  ran  out,  and  he  thought  your  cheese  was 
a  stone,  and  that  you  squeezed  harder  than  he  did. 
And  he  never  saw  through  any  of  your  tricks, 
though  I  should  have  thought  that  even  a  giant 
would  have  suspected.     Are  all  giants  so  stupid  ?  " 

The  tailor  said  that  not  all  of  them  were  so 
stupid,  though  fortunately  a  great  many  were,  and 
generally  when  they  grew  beyond  a  certain  size, 
something  happened  to  their  heads. 

"  If  it  were  n't  for  that,  Miss  Muffet,  there  would 


52  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

be  no  room  for  us  common  people  on  the  earth. 
The  giants  would  eat  up  everything.  Now  and 
then  there  is  a  young  giant  like  ThumhJing  who  is 
active  and  keeps  his  wits  about  him.  Bat  Thumb- 
ling  was  very  little  to  begin  with.  Most  giants 
get  foolish  when  they  grow  up,  and  then  we  can 
put  an  end  to  them." 

When  the  talk  got  upon  giants,  it  was  astonish- 
ing to  see  what  an  eager  crowd  gathered  around 
the  tailor.  There  were  some  knights  in  armor 
who  listened  unconcernedly,  for  they  knew  that 
giants  could  do  them  no  harm ;  but  it  was  differ- 
ent with  the  tailors  and  fishermen  and  ploughmen. 
They  had  suffered  so  much  that  they  could  not 
speak  of  a  giant  without  bitterness. 

"  But  are  n't  there  good  giants  ?  "  asked  Miss 
Muffet. 

"  I  never  heard  of  one,"  said  the  tailor,  "  except 
Christopher,  and  he  is  a  saint  and  learned  how  to 
fast.  It  is  n't  a  question  of  their  being  good :  the 
trouble  with  them  is  that  they  are  too  big.  It 
takes  too  much  to  support  them.  They  eat  us  out 
of  house  and  home.  We  can't  get  along  peaceably 
till  we  are  all  more  of  a  size." 

They  were  all  of  that  opinion,  and  the  stories 
■which  they  applauded  were  of  the  kind  where  a 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  53 

little  man  gets  the  better  of  a  big  one.  Miss  Muf- 
f  et  could  not  object  to  this,  because  it  was  the  kind 
she  liked  best  herself. 

"  I  never  have  been  so  much  afraid  of  giants," 
she  said,  "since  I  learned  about  their  diseases. 
They  are  not  nearly  so  strong  as  they  look.  There 
was  Giant  Despair,  — l  in  sunshiny  weather  he  fell 
into  fits.'  It  was  while  he  was  having  a  fit,  you 
know,  that  Christian  and  Hopeful  got  away.  If  I 
were  going  where  there  were  bad  giants,  I  should 
go  in  sunshiny  weather." 

"  I  don't  think  you  would  have  any  trouble,  my 
dear,"  said  the  shoemaker,  "  for  you  would  take 
the  sunshine  with  you." 

And  then  he  laughed  to  think  of  Giant  Despair 
tumbling  over  in  a  fit  when  he  caught  sight  of 
Miss  Muffet.  For  though  the  shoemaker  was  a 
very  kind  man,  he  had  no  sympathy  for  giants. 


c^V^^:^r\ 


There  were  so  many  interesting  things  going 
on  at  the  party  that  Miss  Muffet  almost  forgot  the 
Serious  Symposium.  When  she  did  remember  it, 
she  was  very  much  troubled. 

"  What  will  Rollo  think  about  me  for  being  so 
negligent !  I  invited  him  particularly  to  come 
to  a  symposium,  and  now  I  don't  even  know  how 
it  is  done." 

The  spider,  however,  told  her  that  he  had  secured 
a  hall  up  two  flights,  and  had  arranged  the  chairs 
and  a  table,  which  were  all  the  arrangements  neces- 


"  I  am  sorry  to  be  so  late  " 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  57 

sary  for  a  meeting.  He  had  seen  a  number  of 
serious  persons  going  upstairs,  and  he  had  no  doubt 
that  it  was  a  success. 

When  she  reached  the  hall,  the  papers  had  all 
been  read  and  discussed,  and  the  Little  Old  Wo- 
man, who  was  in  the  chair,  was  just  announcing 
that  the  next  business  before  the  house  was  to 
adjourn. 

"  I  am  sorry  to  be  so  late,"  said  Miss  Muffet, 
"  and  to  miss  hearing  the  papers." 

"  If  that 's  the  case,"  said  the  Little  Old  Woman, 
"  we  will  have  them  all  over  again.  The  speak- 
ers will  read  slowly,  so  that  the  papers  will  go 
further." 

"  Oh,  please  don't  on  my  account ! "  cried  Miss 
Muffet,  all  in  a  tremble.  "  Don't  let  me  interfere 
with  your  adjourning.  I  know  that  must  be  im- 
portant business." 

The  Little  Old  Woman  said  that  it  was  the  most 
important  business  of  the  meeting. 

"  Does  it  take  long  ?  "  asked  Miss  Muffet. 

"  Not  if  you  know  how  to  do  it,"  said  the  Little 
Old  Woman. 

"  Then  I  will  just  sit  down  and  watch  it." 

The  Little  Old  Woman  rapped  upon  the  table 
with   a  huge   button-hook,  and  went   about  the 


58  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

business  so  briskly  that  before  Miss  Muffet  knew 
what  had  happened,  the  meeting  had  adjourned. 

"Were  the  papers  so  quick?"  she  asked. 

"  No,  they  were  n't ;  papers  are  never  that  way." 

"  What  were  they  about  ?  " 

"  The  white  ones  were  about  '  Child  Study,'  and 
the  yellow  ones  were  about  i  Obedience  to  Parents ' 
and  *  Not  Losing  Your  Thimble.'  The  yellow  ones 
were  the  ones  I  knew  best ;  I  used  to  have  them 
when  I  was  a  little  girl." 

"  Then  the  white  ones  must  be  harder.  Is  Child 
Study  harder  than  Arithmetic  ?  " 

"  There  are  two  kinds.  One  kind  is  where  you 
take  the  children  you  are  acquainted  with  and  tell 
what  you  know  about  them.  That  kind  is  n't  so 
good  to  make  papers  out  of.  It 's  too  short.  The 
other  kind  is  where  you  get  at  '  the  Contents  of  the 
Child's  Mind.'  I  can't  say  that  it 's  harder  than 
Arithmetic,  for  it  is  Arithmetic,  only  it 's  further 
on  than  you'  ve  got.  It 's  percentage.  You  take 
eleven  hundred  little  girls  in  blue  dresses  and  make 
them  fill  out  blanks.  You  ask  them  which  they 
like  best,  chocolate  caramels  or  peppermint  drops." 

"  Which  do  they  like  best?  "  asked  Miss  Muffet, 
who  had  often  thought  about  that  question  herself. 

"  You  can't  tell,"  answered  the  Little  Old  Wo- 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  59 

man  ;  "  all  you  know  is  the  answers :  they  depend 
on  which  words  the  little  girls  can  spell  easiest. 
The  chief  thing  is  to  get  the  percentage.  Then 
you  write  a  paper.  If  it  does  n't  come  out  right, 
you  ask  eleven  hundred  little  girls  in  pink  dresses 
and  they  answer  differently.  Then  you  have  a 
Problem." 

"  What  is  a  Problem?  "  asked  Miss  Muffet. 

"  It 's  something  to  discuss,"  said  the  Little  Old 
Woman. 

"  Why  don't  they  ask  their  mothers  ?  " 

"The  mothers  are  too  busy.  Besides,  their  chil- 
dren are  all  exceptions.  You  can't  make  anything 
out  of  exceptions,  —  there  are  too  many  of  them. 
If  you  let  them  in,  it  just  musses  up  the  Science. 
The  best  way  is  to  keep  them  out." 

"  But  their  mothers  like  them,"  said  Miss  Muffet. 

"  Yes  ;  they  think  that  they  are  the  nicest  kind." 

When  she  had  time  to  look  around  her,  Miss 
Muffet  was  surprised  to  see  how  different  the  com- 
pany was  from  that  in  the  other  parts  of  the  palace. 

"  They  look  as  if  something  had  been  done  to 
them,"  said  Miss  Muffet.  "  Oh  !  now  I  knew  who 
they  are !  They  must  be  Youths.  I  've  always 
read  about  Youths  in  the  books  mamma  makes  me 
read  on  Sunday  afternoon,  but  I  did  n't  know  that 


(50  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

they  were  real.  Some  of  them  look  almost  like 
boys  and  girls,  only  less  so." 

Sure  enough,  the  room  was  full  of  Youths.  They 
came  out  of  the  Sunday-school  books  and  the  Fifth 
Readers  and  the  Moral  Tales  and  the  Libraries  of 
Instructive  Juvenile  Literature.  Some  had  never 
been  out  of  a  book  before,  and  found  it  impossible 
to  talk  in  anything  but  the  book  language.  Some 
were  evidently  very  good,  and  some  were  painful 
examples  of  youthful  wickedness,  while  others  were 
chiefly  interested  in  Natural  History. 

"  Youths,"  said  the  Little  Old  Woman,  "  are 
easier  to  understand  than  boys  and  girls  and  other 
young  folks.  Youths  have  habits,  and  each  one 
practices  only  one  at  a  time.  When  they  do  a 
naughty  thing,  they  keep  on  doing  it  regularly; 
that 's  the  way  you  come  to  know  which  is  which. 
It  does  n't  matter  what  it  is,  whether  Vanity  or  Pro- 
crastination or  Not  Bringing  in  the  Wood,  they 
keep  it  up  till  they  have  been  made  to  see  the  folly 
of  it,  or  are  given  over  to  their  evil  ways.  Now 
children  are  more  changeable.  When  I  lived  in  a 
Shoe,  I  was  driven  half  out  of  my  wits,  for  I  never 
could  be  thorough  when  I  reproved  them,  they 
were  always  naughty  in  a  different  way.  I  don't 
believe  that  any  one  could  have  got  any  of   my 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  61 

children  into  a  book ;  they  would  n't  keep  still  long 
enough  to  have  their  characters  taken." 

Almost  all  the  Youths  were  accompanied  by  their 
parents  or  guardians,  though  some  had  private  tu- 
tors. Two  youthful  persons  from  the  eighteenth 
century  attracted  a  great  deal  of  attention.  They 
were  Harry  Sandford  and  Tommy  Merton.  Harry 
was  a  great  philosopher,  and  understood  so  perfectly 
the  principles  of  the  Wedge  and  the  Inclined  Plane 
and  the  Moral  Law  that  it  was  hard  to  believe  his 
friend,  Mr.  Barlow,  who  stated  that  he  was  only  six 
years  old.  Tommy,  on  the  other  hand,  until  hi3 
sixth  year  had  been  quite  worldly,  and  had  held  a 
number  of  erroneous  opinions.  Under  Harry's 
instruction,  however,  he  had  been  much  improved 
and  was  now  quite  sedate  and  observing. 

Somehow  the  painful  examples  appealed  to  Miss 
Muffet  most,  for  she  was  very  tender-hearted. 
There  was  the  little  criminal  who  once  stole  a  pin. 
Miss  Muffet  had  always  understood  that  a  pin  was 
the  very  worst  thing  to  steal ;  it  had  such  fearful 
consequences.  The  last  consequence  generally  is 
that  one  is  transported.  And  there  was  an  example 
of  youthful  obstinacy  who  would  n't  pronounce  the 
letter  G.  His  mother  was  almost  broken-hearted 
for  fear  he  might  take  a  prejudice  against  other 


62  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

letters  of  the  alphabet.  She  sat  up  three  nights 
with  him  and  spent  days  trying  to  make  him 
say  G. 

"  It  shows  that  she  was  a  good  mother,  does  n't 
it?"  said  Miss  Muffet. 

"  It  shows  that  she  did  n't  have  to  do  her  own 
work,"  replied  the  Little  Old  Woman. 

A  group  of  very  old-fashioned  children  were 
talking  together  in  whispers.  They  were  evidently 
anxious  that  no  older  persons  should  hear  them. 

"  There  they  are  at  it  again,"  said  the  Little  Old 
Woman  ;  "  they  are  Mrs.  Opie's  children.  People 
don't  know  them  so  well  now,  but  they  used  to  be 
notorious  for  telling  White  Lies.  I  have  no  doubt 
that  they  are  doing  it  now;  they  are  exaggerat- 
ing." 

«  What 's  that?  "  asked  Miss  Muffet. 

"  It 's  telling  how  large  a  thing  is  before  you  've 
measured  it." 

"  But  what  if  you  have  n't  a  tape-line  with 
you?" 

"  Then  you  should  say  nothing  about  it." 

"  There  is  Hal,"  said  Miss  Muffet ;  "  I  know  him 
by  the  miserable  piece  of  string  hanging  out  of  his 
pocket.  Hal  cut  his  string.  It  was  a  sin  and  he 
suffers  for  it.     His  cousin  Ben  untied  his  and  has 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


63 


it  always  ready  for  emergencies.  All  his  emergen- 
cies are  of  that  kind ;  they  need  a  piece  of  whipcord 
to  bring  them  out  right.  I  've  no  doubt  but  that 
to-night  the  coach  of  one  of  the  very  prettiest  prin- 
cesses will  break  down  and  Ben  will  tie  it  up.  It 
would  be  just  his  luck." 

Of  course  it  was  not 
long  before  Miss  Muffet 
sought  out  Kollo  Halli- 
day. 

"  I  always  did  like 
Rollo,"  she  said.  "  I  al- 
most forget  that  he  is  a 
Youth  sometimes.  The 
nicest  thing  about  him  is 
that  you  always  know 
what  he  means.  He  al- 
ways tells  you  where  he  is 
and  how  he  got  there, 
without  skipping  any- 
thing that  you  ought  to 
know.  When  he  goes 
into  a  room,  he  goes 
through  the  door,  opening 
and  shutting  the  door  just  as  you  expected.  He 
isn't  at  all  like  Humpty  Dumpty.     I  don't  think 


Hal  cut  his  string 


64  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

I  ever  knew  two  persons  more  different.  There 
was  only  one  time  when  he  puzzled  me.  When  he 
went  to  Europe,  and  they  told  him  how  the  French 
did  things,  ' Hollo  laughed  long  and  loud.'  It  was 
so  unusual.  I  read  it  over  and  over,  but  I  could  n't 
tell  what  he  laughed  at.  I  think  he  might  have 
explained,  but  I  suppose  he  forgot." 

It  certainly  was  a  pleasant  thing  to  see  Hollo 
surrounded  by  a  group  of  kindred  spirits.  They 
were  the  healthiest  and  happiest  Youths  in  the  com- 
pany, for  they  had  lived  a  great  deal  in  the  open 
air,  and  had  kept  their  eyes  open. 

Rollo  was  engaged  in  a  dispute  with  little  Fran- 
cis about  the  comparative  merits  of  New  England 
and  a  Desert  Island  for  farming.  Jonas  said  little, 
but  what  he  did  say  carried  great  weight. 

Rollo  expressed  himself  as  highly  pleased  with 
the  Symposium.  He  was  sorry  that  there  was  not 
time  for  a  paper  on  "  The  New  Boy  "  and  a  dis- 
cussion of  the  question, "  Are  not  the  Young  Grow- 
ing Younger  ?  "  He  said  he  had  seen  some  dan- 
gerous tendencies  in  that  direction. 

Having  said  this,  Rollo  walked  to  the  other  side  of 
the  room,  and  having  found  a  settee,  sat  down  on  it. 

Scarcely  had  Rollo  sat  down  when  Miss  Muffet 
saw  a  little  girl  whose  face  was  very  familiar. 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


65 


"  I  don't  think  I  ever  knew  two  persons  more  different " 


"  You  are  Rosamond,  are  n't  you  ?  And  once 
you  bought  a  beautiful  purple  jar  instead  of  shoes, 
even  though  your  old  shoes  had  holes  in  them  ?  " 

"It  was  a  youthful  indiscretion,"  said  Rosa- 
mond, "  and  I  have  learned  a  lesson  from  it." 

"  It  was  just  lovely.  Any  one  can  have  shoes, 
but  a  purple  jar  is  something  one  dreams  about ; 
it 's  almost  as  good  as  having  a  party." 


6Q  MISS  MUFFETS  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

Then  she  looked  very  anxiously  at  Rosamond 
and  said,  — 

"  I  hope  it  did  n't  happen  to  you  ?  Since  first 
I  read  the  story  Miss  Edgeworth  told  about  you 
and  the  purple  jar,  I  could  n't  get  out  of  my  head 
the  dreadful  lines  with  which  she  begins,  — 

'  O  teach  her  while  your  lessons  last 
To  judge  the  future  by  the  past, 
The  mind  to  strengthen  and  anneal 
While  on  the  stithy  glows  the  steel.' 

It  seemed  such  a  dreadful  thing  to  have  your  mind 
annealed,  and  you  so  little.  I  'm  sure  it 's  some- 
thing uncomfortable.  And  then  how  hard  it  was 
for  your  mamma  to  make  you  choose  to  do  all  the 
unpleasant  things.  I  don't  mind  doing  them  when 
I  'm  told  to,  but  to  have  to  choose  them  rumples 
up  my  mind.  That  must  have  been  an  awful 
time  when  you  had  to  choose  a  needle-book  instead 
of  that  funny  stone  plum  that  you  could  have 
fooled  the  boys  with." 

"  But  Mamma  wanted  to  train  me  to  be  a  Free 
Moral  Agent,"  said  Rosamond. 

<l  I  don't  like  agents,"  said  Miss  Muffet,  and 
then  she  was  sorry  that  she  had  been  so  rude.-  "  I 
mean  I  don't  believe  in  being  one  till  one  is  more 
grown  up.     And  now  that  we  are  talking  about 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  67 

it,  maybe   you  could  tell  me  what  the  other  line 
means,  — - 

*  While  on  the  stithy  glows  the  steel.' " 


"  You  dear  little  Rosamond  " 


e{  A  stithy,"  said  Rosamond,  "  is  a  kind  of  black- 
smith shop." 

"  Now  I  know  what  every  word  means,"  said 
Miss  Muffet,  "  but  what  was  it  all  about?  " 


68  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

"  It  was  poetry." 

"  I  suppose  that  this  evening  you  had  to  choose 
between  the  Symposium  and  the  rest  of  the  party 
where  they  don't  have  papers?  And  you  are 
glad  you  chose  the  Symposium  ?  " 

"  No,  I  'm  not,"  said  Rosamond  impulsively. 

"  You  dear  little  Rosamond ! "  cried  Miss  Muffet, 
throwing  her  arms  about  her.  "  The  annealing 's 
come  off.     Now  let 's  go  where  there 's  music." 


*v-» 


As  she  returned  from  the  Symposium,  Miss  Muffet 
was  compelled  to  pass  through  some  of  the  more 
remote  parts  of  the  palace,  and  whom  should  she 
see  but  the  Caliph  Haroun  al  Raschid,  whom 
she  recognized  at  once  because  he  was  in  full  dis- 
guise. He  had  no  sooner  come  to  the  party  than 
he  had  begun  to  poke  around  in  search  of  adven- 
tures, as  was  his  habit.  At  length  he  found  two 
little  girls  engaged  in  a  violent  quarrel  over  a  lamb. 
One  was  beating  the  other  over  the  head  with  a 
crook,  and  accusing  her  of  theft.     This  was  just 


70  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

what  the  Caliph  was  after,  and  summoning  the  girls 
before  him,  he  prepared  to  try  the  case.  The 
younger  girl,  whose  name  was  Mary,  testified  that 
the  lamb  had  followed  her  to  school.  The  elder 
girl,  known  as  Bo-Peep,  stated  that  on  that  same 
day  she  had  lost  her  whole  flock  of  sheep. 

"  This  is  a  strange  coincidence,"  said  Haroun  al 
Raschid :  "  one  girl  loses  her  sheep  and  another  has 
one  in  her  possession.  There  is  a  great  mystery 
here  that  must  be  looked  into.  Appear  before  me 
to-morrow,  little  girls,  and  tell  me  your  stories." 
And  then  he  added,  with  a  terrible  frown  and  an 
expressive  glance  at  the  executioner,  — •  "  And  be 
sure,  little  girls,  that  your  stories  are  interesting." 

Miss  Muff et  had  hoped  to  have  a  long  quiet  talk 
with  Haroun  al  Raschid  and  to  ask  him  ever  so 
many  questions.  But  when  she  saw  the  execu- 
tioner she  changed  her  mind,  and  she  felt,  too,  that 
the  Caliph  was  more  used  to  asking  questions  than 
tc  answering  them. 

It  was  a  great  relief,  therefore,  to  see  a  Dervish 
sitting  on  the  floor,  as  if  he  had  all  the  time  in 
the  world.  He  did  n't  seem  in  the  least  afraid 
of  Haroun  al  Raschid ;  for  Dervishes  are  great 
people  in  their  way  and  have  no  need  of  being 
afraid  of  anybody. 


Oltve  M. 


Long- 


One  was  beating  the  other 


MISS  MUFFETS  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


73 


"  Good-evening,  Mr.  Dervish,  may  I  sit  down  by 
you  and  have  a  little  talk  about  dervishry  ?  " 

The  Dervish  said  something  she  didn't  quite 
understand  about  not  talking  shop  on  social  occa- 


'.f°5£p*;-c 


A  little  talk  about  dervishry 

sions.  "  However/'  he  added,  "  I  will  be  glad  to 
tell  about  my  neighbors ;  that  will  be  more  polite." 
This  suited  Miss  Muffet  just  as  welL 


74  MISS  MUFFETS  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

"  It 's  what  I  really  want  to  hear  about,"  she 
said.  "  Dervishry  must  be  very  hard  work  when 
you  do  it  well,  but  it  gives  you  a  chance  to  meet 
all  the  interesting  people.  Let  me  see  ;  you  have 
a  bowl,  and  you  sit  under  a  palm-tree  by  a  well, 
and  then  the  Calendars  and  Cadis  and  Muftis  and 
Merchants  and  Mendicants  and  the  ladies  of  Bag- 
dad come  and  ask  you  questions,  and  when  they 
put  things  in  your  bowl  you  answer  them  ?  " 

The  Dervish  said  that  that  would  be  against  the 
rule. 

"  Oh,  I  remember.  You  look  wise  and  tell  them 
to  come  again  to-morrow.  The  next  day  they  come 
again,  and  you  tell  them  which  camel  was  blind 
in  one  eye  and  where  their  lovers  are.  That  is  very 
wonderfuL" 

The  Dervish  said  that  was  the  easiest  part  of  it 
The  hardest  thing  was  to  look  wiser  than  the 
Muftis. 

Very  soon  they  were  having  a  delightful  talk 
about  all  the  great  personages  Miss  Muffet  had 
always  admired  at  a  distance,  but  the  Dervish  had 
known  them  intimately  and  could  tell  all  their 
weak  points,  which  were  not  in  the  books.  Indeed, 
Miss  Muffet  was  surprised  to  find  how  many  mis- 
takes the  books  had  in  them,  all  because  the  per- 


An  expressive  glance  at  the  executioner 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  77 

sons  who  made  them  hadn't  taken  the  trouble  to 
talk  with  the  Dervish.  Almost  all  the  numbers 
were  wrong. 

"  There  were  n't  forty  thieves,  there  were  only 
thirty-nine.     I  counted  them  myself." 

"  But  did  n't  everything  else  happen  as  I  was 
told?"  asked  Miss  Muffet;  "and  didn't  it  come 
out  as  it  is  in  the  book?" 

The  Dervish  admitted  this,  but  said  that  that 
was  n't  the  important  part :  the  important  part  was 
to  count  straight. 

A  remarkable  discovery  was  that  all  the  famous 
people  had  brothers,  and  the  brothers  were  always 
the  ones  who  ought  to  have  been  famous,  but 
every  one  forgot  about  them. 

"  There  is  Aladdin,  he 's  a  greatly  overrated 
man.  I  could  tell  you  some  curious  things  I 
learned  about  him*  I  know  they  are  true,  for 
they  were  told  to  me  in  confidence.  People 
admire  him  because  they  think  he  is  so  lucky. 
Now  if  it  had  been  his  brother !  He  came  over 
from  China  and  used  to  sit  by  the  day  under  my 
palm-tree  talking  about  the  chances  he  had  just 
missed.  They  were  truly  marvelous.  He  missed 
more  chances  than  Aladdin  ever  dreamed  of,  but 
nobody  ever  writes  about  him." 


78  MISS  MUFFETS   CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

"Perhaps  they  don't  know  about  him,"  said 
Miss  Muffet. 

"  That 's  the  injustice  of  it." 

"Speaking  of  brothers,  did  you  ever  find  out 
why  it  is  that  the  third  one  is  always  the  wisest  ? 
I  asked  one  of  the  North  Country  princes  about 
it  just  now,  and  he  bowed  and  said  he  thanked 
me  for  the  compliment,  but  he  was  no  philosopher. 
It  doesn't  matter  where  it  is,  in  the  Red  Fairy 
Book  or  the  Green  Fairy  Book  or  any  color,  the 
third  is  always  the  charm,  and  it  seems  very  much 
the  same  way  in  your  country.  The  oldest  brother 
is  always  vain  and  selfish,  and  when  he  goes  into 
the  forest,  always  does  the  very  thing  he  was  told 
not  to.  And  the  second  brother  is  selfish,  and 
stupider,  for  he  ought  to  know  better  when  his 
brother  does  n't  come  back  and  there  are  so  many 
witches  around.  Then  it  comes  to  the  third 
brother,  and  I  never  expect  anything  of  him  be- 
cause he  is  so  little  and  his  stepmother  has  kept 
him  back,  but  he  turns  out  splendid.  Did  you 
ever  meditate  on  that,  Mr.  Dervish  ?  " 

The  Dervish  said  that  he  had  meditated  on  it 
for  a  great  many  years,  and  had  at  last  come  to 
the  conclusion  that  it  was  a  law  of  nature. 

"  I  am  so  glad  to  know  that,"  said  Miss  Muffet, 
"for  it  has  always  troubled  me." 


Aladdin's  brother  and  the  Dervish 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  81 

The  Dervish  remarked  that  when  one  was  trou- 
bled by  that  kind  of  questions,  it  was  always  better 
to  consult  a  wise  man  at  once.  It  was  not  safe 
to  let  the  case  run  on. 

"  There 's  another  thing-  I  should  like  to  ask 
about.  Since  I  first  read  of  the  Three  Royal 
Mendicants,  I  've  always  wondered  what  a  Mendi- 
cant is.  I  know  he  must  be  very  proud  and  great, 
but  what  does  he  do  ?  The  Mendicants  are  here 
this  evening,  but  I  don't  like  to  ask  them;  it 
might  seem  rude." 

Then  the  Dervish  explained  about  the  Mendicants, 
and  seemed  so  familiar  with  their  way  of  life 
that  Miss  Muffet  suspected  that  he  might  have* 
been  one  himself.  He  explained  too  about  the 
Calendars. 

The  time  passed  so  rapidly  that  Miss  Muffet 
would  have  talked  with  him  all  the  evening,  had 
he  not  at  last  said  that  he  feared  he  was  monopo- 
lizing the  attention  of  his  hostess ;  besides,  it  was 
about  time  for  him  to  do  some  more  meditating. 


There  was  a  surprise  at  the  party  that  delighted 
many  of  the  young  people.  Old  Mr.  Esop  passed 
through  the  hall,  distributing  handbills,  announ- 
cing that,  at  immense  expense,  he  had  brought 
from  Greece  his  unparalleled  aggregation  of  Fables, 
which  would  now  be  open  for  exhibition  in  a  .grand 
pavilion  just  outside  the  south  door  of  the  palace. 
Out  of  compliment  to  Miss  Muffet's  party,  admis- 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  83 

sion  to  the  Fables  would  be  free,  though  ten  cents 
would  be  charged  to  those  who  remained  to  the 
Morals,  —  which,  I  am  sorry  to  say,  very  few  did. 
Some  of  the  Fables  were  unusually  terrifying,  such 
as  the  Lions  and  the  hungry  Wolves,  and  Miss 
Muffet  was  glad  to  see  what  strong  bars  there 
were  to  their  cages.  But  a  number  of  the  Fables, 
having  been  for  a  long  time  on  exhibition,  had 
become  quite  tame,  and  walked  about  conversing 
so  amiably  that  the  youngest  children  felt  no 
apprehension. 

It  was  while  Mr.  Esop  was  engaged  in  attaching 
the  Morals  to  the  Fables  that  Miss  Muffet  caught 
sight  for  the  first  time  of  Uncle  Remus  and  the 
Little  Boy.  Mr.  Esop  was  pointing  out  the  Hare 
asleep  by  the  wayside  while  the  Tortoise  was  com- 
ing gayly  down  the  home  stretch,  and  he  was  about 
to  exhibit  the  Moral  when  Uncle  Remus  broke  out 
with  a  hearty  laugh. 

"  You  don't  fool  dis  chile,  does  you,  honey  ? 
Brer  Rabbit  he  sometime  play  'possum,  but  he 
sleep  wid  one  eye  open ;  he  not  let  hisself  be  beat 
by  a  triflin'  mud  turtle.  Jess  when  Brer  Turtle 
thinks  he  's  thar,  Brer  Rabbit  '11  give  a  jump,  an* 
Brer  Turtle  '11  find  he's  jess  in  time  to  be  too  late. 
Oh  !  I  know  Brer  Rabbit's  owdacious  ways."     But 


84  MTSS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

still  the  Hare  slept  while  the  Tortoise  came  delib* 
erately  over  the  line.  Then  Uncle  Remus  cried 
out  with  infinite  scorn,  "  Come  along,  little  boy ; 
dat  ain't  worth  shucks ;  dat  ain't  Brer  Rabbit, 
nohow.     I  'low  dat  rabbit 's  stuffed." 

"  But,  Uncle  Remus,"  said  Miss  Muffet,  "perhaps 
you  will  like  the  Fables  better  when  you  get  ac- 
quainted with  them.  I  'm  sure  they  have  always 
borne  a  good  reputation.  And  now  I  should  like 
to  introduce  you  to  Mr.  Esop ;  it 's  such  a  pleasure 
to  bring  together  people  of  the  same  tastes.  Mr. 
Esop,  allow  me  to  introduce  my  friend,  Mr.  Remus. 
I  am  sure  that  you  will  feel  a  common  interest  in 
Zoology." 

Miss  Muffet  felt  a  little  frightened  at  making 
siach  a  formal  speech,  but  she  knew  that  she  was 
showing  the  quality  called  "  tact,"  which  is  some- 
thing very  useful  in  a  hostess.  To  tell  one's 
guests  what  they  are  expected  to  talk  about  is 
often  a  great  convenience  to  them. 

But  Mr.  Esop,  the  moment  he  heard  the  name, 
drew  back  with  an  air  that  was  quite  chilling  and 
businesslike. 

"  Another  of  those  early  Romans  out  of  a.  job  ! 
He  has  just  discovered  that  he  is  a  Fable  and  is 
looking  for  a  situation."     Then  turning  to  Uncle 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


85 


Remus  he  said,  "  I  'm  very  particular  about  my 
Fables,  and  I  want  everything  straight  and  plain 
so  that  parents  may 
have  no  hesitation  in 
bringing  their  chil- 
dren. I  don't  like  to 
mix  up  Myths  with  my 
Fables,  for  the  chances 
are  that  the  Mythical 
Personage,  instead  of 
having  a  Moral,  may 
turn  out  to  be  only  a 
Sign  of  the  Zodiac. 
This  is  always  confus- 
ing to  the  Public.  I 
suppose,  Mr.  Remus, 
that  you  have  brought 
Mr.  Romulus  with  you. 
In  the  case  of  twins,  I 
give  no  consideration, 
if  I  'm  offered  only  a 
broken  lot.  I  must 
have  the  full  set,  Mr. 
Remus." 

Uncle  Remus's  feelings  would  have  been  much 
hurt  if  he  had  not  at  that  moment  caught  sight 


!  I  must  have  the  full  set " 


86  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

of  Mowgli  accompanied  by  Baloo  and  Bagheera. 
Just  how  it  happened  Miss  Muffet  could  never  find 
out,  but  before  she  had  time  to  introduce  them 
they  had  become  fast  friends,  and  Uncle  Remus 
only  chuckled  when  she  asked  him  if  she  might 
have  the  pleasure  of  making  them  acquainted. 

"  Nebber  you  mind  'bout  us,  we  mus'  hab  met 
befo'.  I  disremember  whar,  but  it  mus'  hab  been 
somewhar  down  de  big  road." 

And  the  old  man  laughed  at  the  thought  that 
there  ever  was  a  time  when  he  did  n't  know  Mowgli. 

At  the  mention  of  the  big  road  Mowgli  began  to 
sing1  the  "  Road  Sons'  of  the  Bandar-log."  It  was 
a  very  strange  song,  and  not  at  all  like  those  that 
her  music  teacher  taught  her,  but  for  all  that  Miss 
Muffet  felt  that  it  was  just  the  kind  of  a  song  she 
would  sing  if  she  were  a  Bandar-log. 

Uncle  Remus  was  in  an  ecstasy,  and  the  Little 
Boy  shouted  for  joy.  Every  one  praised  it  except 
Sandford  and  Merton,  who  said  that  it  did  n't  give 
any  useful  information  except  that  monkeys  had 
tails,  a  fact  which  was  already  well  known,  being 
mentioned  in  all  the  Natural  History  books.  For 
their  part,  when  it  came  to  poetry  they  preferred  some 
fine  passages  in  Dr.  Young's  "  Night  Thoughts." 

A  great  many  boys  and  girls  who  were  on  their 


MISS  MUFFETyS  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


87 


way  to  the  pavilion  had  remained  outside  listening 
to  a  pleasant  gentleman  who  was  telling  them 
anecdotes  about  the  Wild  Animals  he  had  known. 

This  troubled  Mr.  Esop,  who,  though  an  excel- 
lent man,  was  inclined 
to  be  jealous.  Miss 
Muff et  went  out  to  re- 
mind the  children  of 
the  Morals,  but  in  a 
little  while  she  became 
as  interested  as  the  rest 
of  them. 

"  His  way  of  talking 
is  different  from  Mr. 
Esop's,  but  I  am  not 
sure  but  he  may  be  right.  At  any  rate,  I  am  glad 
to  hear  some  one  who  speaks  respectfully  about  ani- 
mals, and  who  does  n't  say  anything  behind  their 
backs  that  he  would  n't  say  to  their  faces.  He 
always  remembers  that  they  are  persons  and  have 
feelings.  Then  when  they  do  things,  he  does  n't 
blame  them  or  call  them  bad  names.  That 's  one 
thing  I  don't  like  about  Mr.  Esop.  He  is  n't 
quite  fair,  and  he  is  always  accusing  them  of 
Folly." 

"  It 's  remarkable  how  small  the  world  is,  after 


Telling  anecdotes 


88  MISS  MUFFET'S   CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

all,"  said  the  pleasant  gentleman,  when  more  than 
a  score  of  persons  told  him  that  the  Wild  Animals 
he  had  known  were  among  their  most  intimate 
acquaintances,  and  that  they  had  met  them  under 
a  great  many  different  circumstances.  Then  fol- 
lowed a  good  deal  of  gossip  about  their  family  life 
and  the  way  they  got  their  living.  Miss  Muffet 
was  glad  to  hear  that  they  were  all  so  kind  to  their 
children,  but  the  way  they  got  their  living  troubled 
her.  She  remembered  what  the  spider  said,  that 
"  business  is  business,"  but  that  did  n't  make  it 
seem  any  more  kind. 

"It 's  the  Law  of  the  Jungle,"  said  Mowgli;  and 
then  he  recited  the  law  word  for  word  just  as  he 
had  learned  it. 

"  Can't  they  change  it  ?  "  asked  Miss  Muffet. 

"  The  Jungle  people  can't.  It 's  too  strong  for 
them." 

From  this  the  conversation  drifted  to  hunting 
for  sport.  The  pleasant  gentleman  who  knew  so 
many  animals  personally  did  n't  like  it.  The  Boy 
Hunters,  who  had  spent  a  great  deal  of  time  in  the 
woods,  did  n't  agree  with  him.  They  said  that  the 
proper  way  to  become  acquainted  with  animals  was 
to  carry  a  gun.  It  showed  that  you  entered  into 
the  spirit  of  the  thing.     They  fancied  that  it  was 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  89 

good  for  wild  animals  to  be  hunted ;  in  fact,  that 
was  what  kept  them  wild. 

Miss  Muliet  did  n't  think  that  was  a  very- 
good  reason,  though  it  sounded  logical ;  and  she 
asked  several  of  the  Animals  what  they  thought 
about  it. 

A  Duck,  a  Dodo,  a  Lory,  and  an  Eaglet,  who  had 
come  with  Alice  from  Wonderland,  were  the  near- 
est, and  she  asked  them  first,  but  they  refused  to 
answer  on  the  ground  that  they  never  had  thoughts 
so   late    in    the  ^. 

evening.        The  J^^5)'^^^^^^ 


Lory    said    that  Jm^-  ^tr*W 

he   had  one   at  sgS0f 

home,     but    he      A  SP 

had  forgotten  to   *^M  ,  J^ 

bring  it.  J^;/  »1I1f 

"  You     can't  flSiSP 

make    anything  «» 

"  It  all  depends  on  grammar  " 

out      ot      these 

Wonderland  creatures,"  said  Miss  Muffet.  "I  can't 
really  feel  that  they  are  animals  I  have  known, 
though  of  course  I  know  their  names." 

When  Bagheera  was  asked  his  opinion,  he  only- 
growled  that  it  was  all  in  the  day  's  work.  But  wise 
old  Baloo  answered :  — 


90  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

"  It  all  depends  on  grammar." 

This  made  every  one  look  very  solemn,  for  they 
realized  now  that  it  was  a  serious  matter. 

"  First  Person,  Singular,  I  hunt.  Second  Person, 
Thou  huntest.  Third  Person,  He  or  She  hunts.  So 
long  as  you  confine  it  to  the  First  Person,  it 's  proper 
and  right.  When  you  go  beyond  that,  it 's  carry- 
ing it  too  far.  When  you  get  to  the  Second  Per- 
son, that 's  where  the  danger  comes  in." 

This  was  such  sound  sense  that  they  all  agreed 
to  it,  though  Mr.  Wolf  declared  that  the  First  Per- 
son, Plural,  seemed  to  him  to  be  more  sociable. 

"  Does  it  make  any  difference  about  the  moods 
and  tenses?"  asked  Miss  Muffet. 

"Passive  — First  Person,  Singular,  I  am  hunted." 

There  was  a  general  cry  of  horror.  "  What 
a  dreadful  point  of  view!"  said  the  Dodo;  "it 
makes  me  shiver  to  think  about  it." 

Even  the  wildest  animals  agreed  that  it  was  atro- 
cious. What  was  most  remarkable  was  that  the 
Boy  Hunters,  who  had  been  on  the  Orinoco  and  the 
Congo  and  all  the  most  dangerous  places,  admitted 
that  they  had  the  same  feelings. 

"There's  a  limit  beyond  which  hunting  is  not 
true  sport.  It  should  not  be  allowed  to  go  as  far  as 
the  First  Person,  Singular,  in  the  Passive." 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  91 

"I'm  so  glad  that  you  agree  about  it,"  said 
Miss  Muffet.  "  I  knew  you  would  when  you  came- 
to  understand  one  another.  That 's  the  great 
good  of  being  at  parties;  it  makes  us  feel  that 
we  are  all  more  alike  than  we  thought." 


^JkrO^^"^) 


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When  Miss  Muffet  began  to  be  a  little  tired,  Mr. 
Spider  asked  her  to  take  a  stroll  with  him  into  the 
open  air.  So  he  led  her  through  a  low  archway 
which  brought  them  at  last  into  the  Child's  Garden 
of  Verses. 

"  We  had  to  make  the  entrance  quite  small,"  he 
said  apologetically,  "  to  keep  out  the  big  boys. 
They  run  over  everything,  and  we  should  have  to 
put  up  those  horrid  signs, t  Keep  off  the  Verses.' ' 

"  I  am  so  glad  that  you  have  brought  me  into 
the  garden  where  I  can  see  the  verses  growing. 


Wynken,  Blynken,  and  Nod 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  95 

Mamma  told  me  that  people  make  verses  just  as 
they  make  the  flowers  on  her  bonnet.  But  I  like 
the  kind  that  grow,  don't  you,  Mr.  Spider  ?  " 

Mr.  Spider  said  that  he  was  no  judge  of  poetry, 
but  he  was  inclined  to  be  of  her  opinion ;  which 
made  Miss  Muft'et  very  happy,  for  she  had  not  been 
used  to  having  people  agree  with  her,  —  at  least 
before  she  had  a  party. 

It  was  very  pleasant  in  the  garden,  for  the 
noisier  children  had  not  found  it  out.  It  was  sur- 
prising how  many  things  were  in  it.  There  was  a 
little  river  with  golden  sand ;  and  the  tiniest  moun- 
tain, which  looked  as  high  as  the  sky  when  you 
got  the  right  point  of  view ;  and  there  were  ships 
and  pirates  and  a  beautiful  cow.  When  you  looked 
in  the  right  direction,  you  could  see  the  big  world 
stretching  away  much  further  than  the  eye  could 
reach. 

Miss  Muffet  watched  a  wide-eyed  little  boy  who 
was  wandering  about  and  having  such  an  adven- 
turous time  as  never  was.  Everything  was  so  great 
and  strange,  yet  he  was  n't  a  bit  afraid,  only  now 
and  then  when  he  turned  a  corner  he  was  a  little 
prudent,  as  any  traveler  would  be  who  had  come 
to  the  end  of  the  world  and  was  not  sure  that  the 
next  step  might  not  take  him  off  the  edge.    But  it 


96  MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


Si.**^v. 


WWfelGftfEl 


55^. 


Be  iras  a  /j'tt/e  prudent 

never  did,  for  no  matter  how  far  he  went,  there 
was  always  a  next  step  for  him,  as  if  the  good 
Scotch  gardener  who  had  laid  out  the  paths  had 
known  that  such  a  great  traveler  was  coming.    As 


The  JRockaby  Lady  saying  good-night 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY  99 

she  left  the  garden  she  heard  him  singing  to  him- 
self his  glad  little  song,  — 

"  The  world  is  so  full  of  a  number  of  things, 
I  think  we  should  all  be  as  happy  as  Kings." 

The  idea  of  the  little  song  was  exactly  the  same 
that  Miss  Muffet  had  had  in  her  head  for  a  long 
time,  though  she  had  n't  been  able  to  express  it  so 
well.  Even  after  she  came  back  to  the  company, 
she  kept  repeating  the  words  to  herself. 

"I  think  the  nicest  part  about  being  happy," 
she  confided  to  the  spider,  "  is  that  it  keeps  you 
from  being  lonesome,  and  it  makes  you  like  such  a 
number  of  things." 

"And  such  a  number  of  people,"  added  Mr. 
Spider. 

"  Yes  ;  all  the  different  kinds.  It 's  not  because 
they  are  so  very  pretty.  You  like  the  queer  ones 
too,  and  you  are  glad  that  the  world's  full  of 
them.  There 's  Rumpelstiltzkin,  he 's  not  at  all 
like  anybody  else,  and  his  features  are  n't  regular, 
but  I  'm  glad  he  came  to  the  party.  He  's  so  inter- 
esting." 

Mr.  Spider  was  sure  that  if  he  could  get  every 
one  to  feel  that  way,  it  would  make  life  easier  for 
the  members  of  his  own  family.     He  agreed  that 


100        MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


\    VS 


0 


Flew  away  .  .  .  into  the  night 


the  way  to  keep  people  from  being  cruel  was  to 
make  them  happy  in  their  own  minds. 

"  And  it 's  such  an  easy  way,"  said  Miss  Muffet, 
"  I  wonder  that  nobody  has  thought  of  it  before." 


J?i<o  fa's  overcoat  pocket 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 


103 


There  is  not  time  to  tell  of  all  that  happened  at 
the  party.     As  to  refreshments,  the  Old  Woman 


Red  Riding-Hood's  Grandmother  began  to  dance 

"who  lived  on  victuals  and  drink  declared  that 
victuals  and  drink  were  nothing-  to  the  good  things 
which   Miss    Muffet    had   provided.      Before    the 


104        MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY 

evening  was  over  the  Pied  Piper  played  so  merrily 
that  even  Red  Riding-Hood's  Grandmother  began 
to  dance.  The  Twelve  Dancing  Princesses  said 
that  it  was  the  first  time  that  they  had  been  able  to 
dance  as  much  as  they  liked.  Before  this  they  had 
had  to  stop  when  they  danced  the  soles  off  their 
shoes ;  but  this  evening  the  spider  had  thought- 
fully provided  each  one  with  several  pairs. 

And  how  did  it  end?  All  of  a  sudden,  lights 
out,  cobweb  broken,  and  Miss  Mullet  left  alone 
with  her  curds  and  whey  ?  Not  at  all.  It  ended 
as  all  good  parties  end.  The  Rockaby  Lady  from 
Hushaby  Street  suggested  that  it  was  getting  late. 
Then  one  by  one  the  guests  came  to  Little  Miss 
Muffet  and  told  her  what  a  good  time  they  had  had, 
and  how  glad  they  were  that  Christmas  comes  once 
every  year.  Wynken,  Blynken,  and  Nod  sailed 
away  in  a  wooden  shoe.  They  were  such  dear 
little  fellows  that  Miss  Muffet  was  sorry  that  she 
had  n't  noticed  them  till  they  came  to  say  good-by. 
Mr.  Esop  put  out  the  lights  in  his  pavilion  5 
and  the  Arabians  mounted  their  camels  and  rode 
slowly  toward  Bagdad,  first  making  the  Sultana 
promise  to  tell  them  a  story  that  would  last  through 
the  whole  Arabian  Night.  The  Wonderlanders 
put  on  their  queer  bonnets  and  coats,  all  carefully 


MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY        105 

wrong  side  out ;  and  the  Man  Friday  hoisted  his 
umbrella  to  keep  the  dew  off  Robinson  Crusoe ; 
and  Doctor  Gulliver  put  all  the  Lilliputians  he 
could  catch  into  his  overcoat  pocket ;  and  Mother 
Goose  flew  away  with  all  her  family  into  the  night. 
The  little  people  from  the  North  were  the  last  to 


A  long  time  to  get  on  their  overshoes 

get  away,  for  it  took  them  a  long  time  to  get  on 
their  overshoes  and  fur  coats  and  mufflers,  but  at 
last  they  too  had  gone. 


106        MISS  MUFFET'S  CHRISTMAS  PARTY. 


Closed  her  eyes 


EZriQ""  ,:~  •-""';  .■ 


"  I  see    by   the  moonlight 
"'*• :"^^;     that    it's    almost    midnight," 
said  the  spider.     "  It 's  time 
for  little  girls  to  go  to  sleep." 

Little  Miss  Mullet  closed  her  eyes  very  tightly 
indeed,  but  she  did  n't  close  her  ears,  so  she  .heard 
the  first  tinkle  of  sleigh-bells  far  away,  and  she 
knew  that  Santa  Claus  was  coming. 


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